OGR 10/10/2013Hey Ayunie,I didn't need your OGR to know that you're working had to keep on top of all your weekly tasks - and so see how quickly you're building up a diverse body of work. That's what we like to see - and by Christmas, you'll be thinking 'Wow, I can't believe I did all that in 12 weeks!'So - Metropole! It's clear you have a good thematic understanding of the book, and it's in the bird's eye view of the city that I get the best sense of that understanding translating visually. If I'm being completely honest, I don't think the 3 cemetery thumbnails are actually giving you very much; they appear to be drawings of rather generic cemeteries, with 'manageable' perspectives and no sense that these views belong to the book. The same is true of your cathedral scene, and while not every painting must be as congested as each other to make the point, I just think they need to be brought closer together in terms of their visual concept. Your visual concept isn't definite enough - for example, if you decided that the idea of a labyrinth was a symbol for the character's experience of both language and the city, then you would seek to evoke the labyrinth in all your scenes as a guiding message; for example, if you were to put the viewer amongst the headstones in the cemetery (as opposed to looking in from outside), this space would also 'speak' about his lostness - but more gently; the visual concept is still guiding the painting, but it's soft. Indeed, when I think about that cemetary scene and the themes of your book, I can't help but think of the Holocaust memorial in Berlin:http://images.travelpod.com/tw_slides/ta00/9d4/f4c/holocaust-memorial-berlin-germany-march-09-lake_ariel.jpgSee how it's possible to show the cemetary and continue a visual idea of being lost? My point is that I think, for this book, for these themes, you need to think much more boldly about your art-style and about your composition: I think you should produce a series of highly experimental, graphical digital thumbnails and perhaps stop drawing things so literally. I think you should try and draw 'confusion' and 'claustrophobia' and I think you should try and draw your scenes, not from your perspective, but always from your character's emotional point-of-view. I think your world needs an overall style - something bold. Remember, this is concept art for animation, and animation can be very arty. Watch these two examples to see what I mean - not because these styles are right for Metropole, but simply because they are stylised and very memorable - you'll see how everything in the world is made from the same brush marks, or carved from the same stuff and in the same way.http://vimeo.com/31299484http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x02IieCn6wk In short, I want to see you exploring the potential of the visual language of these scenes more daringly - more boldly - more this:http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4131/4843247481_65cd302f04_b.jpgthan this:http://www.treeshark.com/BlogPosts/Water/Water285.jpgIt's a challenge, but I want you to find these worlds of yours through a definite visual concept that crystallises the book's theme and a more experimental approach to digital painting. Onwards!