Okay - you've won me over with your story synopsis; the idea of the clockwork aspect being a 'moral code' is fascinating - and a delicate application of the term - but also an integral one, so I'm not going to badger you anymore about 'clockwork mice' :)
That said - I still think you're missing a trick or two in terms of production design. Okay - so clockwork is of great moral comfort to this character - so if this is the case, where, logically, might a young woman, whose religion is bound up with neatly-ordered cogs etc, decide to 'worship' or make her secret lair? Not just a temple with some clockwork stuff in it, but surely something more like this?
Put simply, wouldn't your character's place of solace and calm be within the mechnanisms of a clock tower? It would make for a much more dynamic environment! Re. the hero prop - I've got to say that swords are a bit 'blah blah blah' - though I can see why your character would have one, but I've got to ask you, as a designer, is a sword the most interesting thing you can imagine designing - a length of metal and a fancy handle? Sounds like a bit of a snore to me! Even the locket itself would be more interesting...
Thanks for your feedback! :) Initially, I did not want the hero prop to do anything with gears because the lair was already filled with them. However, I get where you're coming from and I will come up with a hero prop (Possibly the necklace or the bookshelf).
OGR 07/11/2013
ReplyDeleteHey Ayunie,
Okay - you've won me over with your story synopsis; the idea of the clockwork aspect being a 'moral code' is fascinating - and a delicate application of the term - but also an integral one, so I'm not going to badger you anymore about 'clockwork mice' :)
That said - I still think you're missing a trick or two in terms of production design. Okay - so clockwork is of great moral comfort to this character - so if this is the case, where, logically, might a young woman, whose religion is bound up with neatly-ordered cogs etc, decide to 'worship' or make her secret lair? Not just a temple with some clockwork stuff in it, but surely something more like this?
http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/attachments/f240/475645d1376817827-inside-big-ben-houses-parliament-london-uk-1920s-1950s-7513_gall_005.jpg
http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/attachments/f240/475644d1376817827-inside-big-ben-houses-parliament-london-uk-1920s-1950s-7513_gall_004.jpg
http://farm1.staticflickr.com/84/215010727_cbcb97127a_z.jpg
Put simply, wouldn't your character's place of solace and calm be within the mechnanisms of a clock tower? It would make for a much more dynamic environment! Re. the hero prop - I've got to say that swords are a bit 'blah blah blah' - though I can see why your character would have one, but I've got to ask you, as a designer, is a sword the most interesting thing you can imagine designing - a length of metal and a fancy handle? Sounds like a bit of a snore to me! Even the locket itself would be more interesting...
Hi Phil,
DeleteThanks for your feedback! :) Initially, I did not want the hero prop to do anything with gears because the lair was already filled with them. However, I get where you're coming from and I will come up with a hero prop (Possibly the necklace or the bookshelf).