With this second edit, I have added and edited a couple of scenes. More work still needs to be done in terms of camera placement. However, with this edit, it has given a few ideas on how to improve it as a whole. I am currently working on those ideas.
In summary:
ReplyDelete1) Consider creating more screen time by opening the narrative back out - i.e. separate the verses/lines to give more time for beginning scenes and ending them, particularly with the ant scene, which still doesn't feel right.
2) Telephone box - reconsider?
3) Hoarding scene - think about foreground/mid ground/background and camera tracking back and up past more stacks of stuff.
4) Supermarket bread and pickles - re-visit as current composition is forcing the eye to the back of the shot, which is contributing nothing.