tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3871132611780879797.post2336504429814411466..comments2023-05-27T13:10:50.440+01:00Comments on Ayunie Adiana: Cutting Edge Film Programme: The Birds (1963)Ayunie Adianahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14803086427297614704noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3871132611780879797.post-8005018832807849812014-01-29T18:29:41.961+00:002014-01-29T18:29:41.961+00:00Hi Jackie, noted on the points given :) Will be mo...Hi Jackie, noted on the points given :) Will be more thorough when I Introduce the characters and sentence structure in my next review.Ayunie Adianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14803086427297614704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3871132611780879797.post-23365590446033436832014-01-29T07:06:27.899+00:002014-01-29T07:06:27.899+00:00Hi Ayunie!
Just a couple of points really - first...Hi Ayunie!<br /><br />Just a couple of points really - firstly, make sure that you fully introduce the character before talking about them...at the moment, it is a little confusing to your reader, as you refer to the leading lady just as 'Daniels' to begin with, and then later refer to her as 'Melanie'. There is no way of linking these two names together, and if you didn't know already, you might think they were two separate characters.<br /><br /> Your sentence 'The film has an opening ending where Daniels, the Brenners and the lovebirds slowly leaving the town, heading for the hospital.' I think could have gone later in the text, as it is a sort of conclusion... also, 'opening ending' is a little confusing; I think you meant, 'an open ending.'<br /><br />Good discussion around the use of the phone box to give the feeling of being caged like a bird :)Jackiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13332181835614441447noreply@blogger.com